


talking to the moon

by markhycks



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, Fluff, Heartache, Lots of Crying, M/M, Mourning, Sad with a Happy Ending, ends as markhyuck, starts as lumark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 16:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19338160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markhycks/pseuds/markhycks
Summary: lucas believed that when he died he wouldn't be a star but instead, he believed he would be the moon.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // almost all chapters in this will have some sort of mention of death so if that's something that easily upsets you, i recommend you don't read this :((

Everyone has a reason to be on earth, so Mark thought. He believed that whether it be to make a small impact, or to go on and change the world, everyone belonged there. If they didn’t then why would God put them there. As dumb as it sounded, Mark believed he was destined to find Lucas and that was his reason for being here. He knows people would call him insane if he let them know that this is what he believed was his purpose in the world, but the minute he was introduced to Lucas Wong, every part of his life suddenly fell into place.

Well, maybe he’s being dramatic. Mark wanted to be an author and so he was currently studying English Literature at Seoul National University. It was a dream he always had since he was younger. Even when he still lived in Canada. So maybe that was his purpose, he wasn’t sure, but what he was sure of is that whatever he was supposed to be doing, Lucas was destined to be there with him.

Mark and Lucas met in a way that wasn’t special, really. They happened to both be friends with Huang Renjun, Mark’s university friend and someone who Lucas met years back through his younger cousin Zhong Chenle. If anyone had told Renjun that the two boys would fall in love as soon as he introduced them to each other, he would have laughed considering the two of them were complete opposites. Mark loves school and reading and all things that comes along with it whereas Lucas on the other hand had dropped out of University after his first year of _attempting_ to study business as he had decided it wasn’t the career path he wanted to follow. He believed he was destined to be a model and so he found himself a part time job until he found a way to make his dreams a reality.

After months of getting to know each other, the two of them automatically felt as though they were connected and so they weren’t surprised when eventually they developed feelings for each other. What did surprise Mark though was when they had been talking to Lucas’ old school friend and Lucas introduced Mark as his boyfriend. There was a clear look of surprise on Mark’s face, but he didn’t say anything, instead he began introducing Lucas to people as his boyfriend and that’s how the duo was formed.

Many months into their relationship, Lucas’ dream of becoming a model was finally becoming a reality when he was scouted by a staff member of one of Korea’s top modelling agencies, ‘Neo Models.’ Mark wasn’t surprised really, I mean who would be if their boyfriend was a freakishly handsome giant who could pass as a model anyways, even if he was just working at his part time job as a cinema usher. This meant when the time came that Lucas’ began gaining more and more success, Mark was as proud as ever. The only thing Mark didn’t like, though, was that the two of them were now only able to have dates at midnight every Saturday. At the beginning, Mark hated it, only because he was addicted to writing. Lucas had convinced him that his modelling job was beneficial for him as it meant he had a chance to leave his room, but Mark disagreed with this. However, it still ended with him leaving his room because Mark could never say no to Lucas. Especially when he was basically the human version of an overgrown puppy. That’s why Mark was now currently sat at his desk, rushing to finish the paragraph he was working on before Lucas was due to show up at his house.

“Babe, you’re not still writing, are you?”

Mark’s head shot up almost immediately, directing itself to the door where his boyfriend was leaned up against, arms folded across his chest. Mark couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Now that the pair were often apart, he had learned to appreciate their moments together more than he had done in the past. He shut the laptop down, not forgetting to save his work, before walking over to Lucas, arms stretched out ready for the latter to take him in his embrace. “I missed you.”

“Mm, clearly not enough to stop writing when I knock on the door, though.” Lucas teased, enveloping his much smaller partner into a tight hug, pressing his lips against the top of his head. Mark looked up with a confused look on his face, “You knocked? I didn’t hear you, though. How did you get in?”

“Your mom let me in, I’m sure you didn’t hear her come home either though. You looked really engrossed in your writing, as you always do.” Lucas removed his arms from around Mark’s body, suddenly making his way over to the bed in the corner of the room, throwing himself on top of it. “Ahh, I wish we could just stay here instead of going outside.”

Mark couldn’t help but laugh, reaching over to grab a pair of shoes and slipping his feet into them. He knew that even if Lucas complained that he didn’t want to go outside, he never really meant it. Especially if it wasn’t raining. “I mean, we could, but you wont so…”

“Yeah, you’re right. Let me rest for a little though, I had a long shoot today.” Lucas’ eyes were now shut as if he was going to fall asleep. Mark knew he wouldn’t though, so he just smiled and made his way over to sit down on the space beside him, his hand instantly reaching out to touch Lucas’ hair. “Mm, you rest for as long as you want to babe. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

Lucas’ eyelids opened, a smile growing on his lips as he stared at his boyfriend. “We do, don’t we? We’re gonna be in love forever, aren’t we?”

Mark furrowed his eyebrows, continuing to run his fingers through the brown locks of hair. “Of course. Why do you ask?”

“I just need reassurance. I sometimes feel like I don’t deserve you…” Lucas’ lips curled into a small smile, his own hand reaching to find Mark’s free hand, instantly intertwining their fingers together before he brought them up to his lips, pressing a small kiss against the back of Marks hand. “Come on, we should go.”

___________________

 

“Where are we going tonight?” Mark queried, turning his attention towards Lucas as they both walked through the park near Mark’s neighbourhood. Lucas shrugged, a grin spread across his face. It was clear that neither of them knew where they were going, even though this week had been Lucas’ turn to decide. Mark didn’t mind though. As long as they were together, he couldn’t complain.

“I was thinking we could just take a walk tonight, you know, look at the moon from the park maybe.”

“You’re so obsessed with the moon,” Mark started talking, shaking his head with a small laugh before looking around the area which they were in. “It’s cute.”

Lucas stopped walking when they reached an area filled with grass and flowers. There wasn’t many lamp-posts in sight meaning it was rather dark, other than the moonlight lighting up the world around them. Mark watched as his boyfriend took his jacket off, placing it down on the grass, making sure to avoid any of the flowers, not wanting to damage them because in Lucas’ words, they were ‘too precious to be hurt.’ Mark agreed but not without commenting on how thoughtful the other man was.

The two of them were laying down, staring up at the sky, admiring the stars and moon above them. Although Lucas knew he wasn’t as book smart as Mark, when it came to astronomy Lucas was extremely intelligent. It had always been something that he had been interested in, especially the moon. Mark didn’t know why he admired it so much but his passion and love for it was one of the many things that made Mark fall for him.

“God, it’s so pretty.” Lucas whispered, visibly in awe at the scene in front of him for the hundredth time. Mark turned his head to observe the man laying beside him, a lazy smile growing on his lips, humming in agreement at his partners statement although he was thinking it about something – or should he say someone – completely different.

“Hey, Mark?” Lucas’ face was now facing Mark’s and it was obvious that the conversation they were about to have was going to be serious, causing Mark to grow nervous, his smile disappearing almost instantly. “Yeah?”

Lucas laughed a little bit, reaching out to intertwine his own hand with Marks much smaller one. “There’s no need to look so nervous, it’s nothing bad. Its just, have you ever thought about what’s gonna happen when we, you know, die?”

To say Mark was shocked at Lucas’ question would be an understatement. The two of them had never had conversations about the issue and it was something Mark didn’t really think about often so to hear Lucas ask something to serious worried him. “Uh, not really. I tend not to think about things I have no control over… have you?”

“I don't usually but, it’s just scary, you know?” Lucas responded quietly, turning his head back to look up at the sky above him. There was movement beside him and Mark was soon sat up straight, looking down at Lucas with obvious worry on his face. “Are you okay? You’ve been a little off today, I noticed it earlier, I just didn’t wanna say anything.”

Lucas was now also sitting up straight, nodding with a small smile on his face. It was true, Lucas was okay. If anything, he was at one of the best points of his life and his career, so he didn’t know why something so morbid was on his mind. He supposed it was because it was inevitable, and it was something that happens to everyone, so it didn’t worry him much that it had been taking up his thoughts lately.

“Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry. I was just thinking. Don’t look at me like that, I promise I’m okay. I would tell you if I wasn’t, you know that, right?”

Mark stared at Lucas for a few seconds before nodding his head, trusting that if anything were bothering him then he would tell Mark. “Yeah, I know that. I would, too.”

Lucas squeezed Mark’s hand, laying back down on the grass, looking above him once again, causing Mark to do the same. The two of them lay in silence for a short while, not really having anything to talk about at that moment. It wasn’t an awkward silence, though. It was comfortable and the two of them enjoyed it. It allowed them to have time to think amongst themselves, which was often well needed.

“I hate to keep talking about it but, have you ever heard the saying that when someone dies, they become a star?” Lucas broke the silence, only taking his eyes off the sight in front of him to glance at Mark for a small second, biting his lip as he waited for the latter to respond. It took a few seconds but once he heard Mark humming, he took it as a sign that he could continue talking. “Well, I would like to believe that when I die, I won’t become a star, but instead I’ll become the moon.”

Mark couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at the comment. It was a weird topic to talk about, but Mark couldn’t help but find the remark cute. “I’m sure you will be, baby, but you don’t have to think about that for a long while yet.”

Without responding, Lucas sat himself up, staring at the other boy for a short while before slowly moving his hand to the back of Mark’s neck, nodding his head with a small hum. Mark couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side, staring at the boy in front of him, causing the latter to let out a literal giggle. “You’re so cute.”

“I didn’t do anything, though” Mark couldn’t help but smile, moving his own hand to sit on Lucas’ thigh, inching his face towards the models to plant a chaste kiss on his lips. He didn’t know what it was but there was something about Lucas that made Mark want to kiss him all the time. Maybe it was because of how big and kissable his lips were, or maybe it was because of how handsome he was, he didn’t know, but what he did know is that if he could choose one thing to do for the rest of his life, it would be to kiss Lucas - who also obviously enjoyed kissing Mark, but if he were to start talking about that then he would be talking for hours.

The two boys were quiet for another while as Mark had his head resting on Lucas' shoulder, his eyes shut as he enjoyed the moment. 

“I love you, Mark Lee.” Lucas whispered, turning his head to press a kiss against the top of Mark's head. Before he could hear a response, he felt Mark lifting his head up to look at the elder before there was a hand on his cheek and soon enough a set of lips on his own, once again. He couldn't help but smile, leaning his own forehead against Marks, closing his eyes when he heard Mark whispering back, “and I love you, Wong Yukhei.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this seems rushed and the writing is awful but i'm hoping it gets better after the first chapter since i'll have more to work with !! i also didn't even wanna post this chapter yet but today is the day it gets deleted :(( 
> 
> hope this is somewhat enjoyable for anyone reading this n thank you if you are <33


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw:// mentions of death please do not read if this is something you are easily upset by, your safety comes before any fanfiction always!!

It had been a few days since Mark had last seen Lucas. He was extremely busy these days, having to fly all over Asia for photoshoots, fashion shows and other things that came along with being a model, so Mark had been missing him more than usual. When he saw him on Tuesday, he was just about to leave to go to Thailand for a huge fashion show he had been looking forward to, and so they had to change their weekly Saturday midnight date to a Tuesday morning breakfast date before Lucas had to rush off to the airport. Mark appreciated him taking the time to see him though, especially with him having such a busy schedule. He just wished he could see him more. It sounded selfish of him but in the past month, he had only spent a total of 3 days with him. Mark was worried that Lucas was being overworked but he didn’t mention it. He knew Lucas enjoyed his career and he wouldn’t be doing it if he didn’t.

While Lucas has been gone, he has been spending most of his time writing or at university. The rest of his time has been spent third-wheeling his best friends, Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin. The three of them had been best friends since they were young, but it was only last year that Jaemin and Jeno started dating. Mark wasn’t surprised when it happened, though. He always knew they had a thing for each other, so he was waiting for it to happen one day and eventually it did.

The two of them were cautious around Mark and tried their hardest not to make him feel like a third-wheel, always including him in everything they did. They knew it was hard for him, going from seeing his boyfriend every day to being lucky if he saw him once a week, so they tried to act normal and keep their PDA to a minimum, even though Mark constantly reassured them that he was okay.

He didn’t always spend his time with his best friends, though. Sometimes when his older brother Johnny was home, he would spend time with him. Sometimes Johnny’s boyfriend Taeyong would be there but it was usually just him and Johnny. Mark loved when Johnny was home. The two of them had always had a close relationship since they were younger, but it grew stronger when they had to move to Korea as they were each other’s only friend for a short few weeks before they began making friends.

Johnny was currently working as a teacher in Busan, which meant he was usually only able to visit home every few weeks but thankfully he was home for the summer and was available to keep Mark company while Lucas was gone on his trips.

“Hey, do you wanna go out for dinner with me and Taeyong?" His cousin Yuta is visiting from Japan and he wants to introduce us to him.” Mark turned his head away from the laptop he was currently using to write, furrowing his eyebrows together as he looked at his older brother who was now entering his room. “I never knew Taeyong had family in Japan. What time?”

Johnny nodded, taking his phone out of his pocket. “Yeah, I never knew either until he told me last week. Oh, we should be going in ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes? You ask me to go for dinner then tell me we’re leaving in ten minutes? I’m not even dressed!” Mark instantly got up from his chair, rushing over to his closet to get something to wear while Johnny made his way to Mark’s bed, laying down on it as he rolled his eyes. “You’re so dramatic, Mark. Ten minutes is plenty of time to get ready, or maybe that’s just because I’m naturally handsome.”

Mark ignored his brother’s dumb comment, pulling out a hoodie and skinny jeans, quickly getting changed into them before he realised it was Lucas’ hoodie he was wearing, causing him to stop moving for a second as he frowned. “What’s wrong with you, now?”

  
Mark looked up and saw Johnny staring at him with his eyebrows raised, looking at Mark as if he knew something was wrong with him. Mark shook his head, rushing over to grab his favourite pair of yellow vans, sitting down on his chair to put them on. “I just miss Lucas is all.”

“Aww, my baby brother is so in love.” Johnny teased, getting up of the bed and walking over to Mark, pinching the younger boy’s cheeks which resulted in Mark pushing Johnny away from him, groaning before he rubbed his cheeks. “Why would you do that? You know I have a low pain tolerance!”

“Shut up and put your shoes on, you baby. I’ll be in the car.”

 

“Johnny, Mark, this is my cousin Yuta. Yuta, this is my boyfriend and his brother.”

The two boys bowed, saying hello to the unbelievably handsome man standing in front of them. When Yuta told Johnny about his cousin he wasn’t expecting him to look like an actual prince. Of course, he was nothing compared to Taeyong in his eyes, but he couldn’t deny that he was an attractive man. Mark was also in awe at how attractive the boy was that he almost forgot to say hello to him.

“Hi, I’m Mark. It’s so nice to meet you!” Mark reached his hand out to shake Yuta’s hand, who also done the same, introducing himself in perfect Korean, to Mark and Johnny’s surprise. “Oh, you speak Korean!”

“Yeah, I use to live here when I was younger for a few years before moving back to Japan,” Yuta explained, taking a seat down on the side of the booth opposite from Mark and Johnny. Mark nodded, letting the Japanese boy know that he was listening. “That’s cool, that’s cool. We’re not actually from Korea like we’re Korean, but we’re from Canada. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Yuta couldn’t help but laugh at the younger boy, looking at him with wide eyes at how fast he was speaking. Johnny and Taeyong didn’t seem phased by him so he assumed this was the way Mark usually acted, so he just continued to listen to him rambling on about how he and Johnny were Canadian.

The dinner was going smoothly, and it was obvious that Mark and Yuta were becoming pretty good friends. Maybe it was because Johnny and Taeyong spent the whole time flirting which meant that the other two boys were left to interact with each other. They couldn’t complain though. It wasn’t awkward, and Yuta thought Mark was extremely funny, without even trying, so he was enjoying the dinner. They even got to tell each other about their partners which led to Mark finding out that Yuta was also gay and was also in a relationship with a Chinese man, however, Yuta's boyfriend was not called Lucas Wong but was called Dong Sicheng.

“I met Sicheng a few years ago just after he moved to Japan. In the beginning, I was convinced he hated me, honestly. It took five tries before he gave in and agreed to go on a date with me. I guess after that he just couldn’t help but fall in love with my handsome face.”

Mark couldn’t help but laugh loudly at Yuta’s comment, leaning back into his seat as he started clapping his hands, which was something he usually did out of habit when he found something funny. “That’s pretty funny, cute, but funny.”

Yuta smiled, taking a sip out of the glass that was sitting in front of him before looking up at Mark, raising his eyebrows. “How did you and Lucas meet?”

“Oh god please, no talking about Lucas. He’ll start crying or something.” Johnny complained, finally paying attention to the conversation that the two boys were having. Taeyong leaned over and slapped Johnny on the arm, telling him to shut up which resulted in Johnny pouting and folding his arms like a spoilt child.

“Why would you cry?” Yuta’s head was tilted to the side, obvious confusion printed on his face as he looked back and forth between the two siblings. Mark just smiled, not paying much attention to Johnny’s comment. He knew he was just teasing him and the best thing to do to annoy Johnny was to not react to anything he said. “Uh, Lucas is a model. He’s currently in Thailand because he had a fashion show last night. I haven’t seen much of him lately and Johnny’s just being a dick because he knows I miss him.”

Mark couldn’t help but pick up his phone after being reminded of his boyfriend, checking if he had any messages or missed calls from him but to Mark’s disappointment he didn’t. In fact, he hadn’t had any texts from Lucas since he messaged him goodnight the night before, but Mark decided that maybe he was too busy doing model stuff, so he just didn’t have the time to text him back, so he set the phone back down, falling back into conversation with Yuta, explaining how he and Lucas had met.

 

“It was so nice to meet you two! I hope we get the chance to hang out again before I leave. Maybe next time you’ll be able to introduce me to Lucas!” Yuta beamed, the four boys now standing outside the café, waiting to get into their cars. Mark nodded his head, smiling widely at the thought of being able to introduce Lucas to his new friend. He knew Lucas would like Yuta. As long as a person’s funny, Lucas would get along with them and based on the dinner they just had, Yuta was exactly that. “Yeah, of course, dude. I’ll bring Lucas next time.”

The four boys finally said their goodbyes and now Mark and Johnny were in the car, making their way back to their house. The drive was silent due to Mark being unable to stop thinking about Lucas which meant he also wasn't able to start a conversation. Johnny was used to driving in silence lately. He didn’t mind it. It gave his younger brother time to think to himself and that’s what Mark often needed. Johnny knew that if something was bothering Mark, he would tell him. The two boys grew up in a family that always encouraged them to share their feelings, so it wasn’t something they found difficult to do.

When they arrived home, neither of their parents were home from work yet so Mark decided to head upstairs and continue on the summer work he had been given. Writing assignments weren’t just homework for Mark but a way of relieving stress and distracting himself from the real world for a little while and was also a good way to stop him from thinking about how much he missed his boyfriend.

After around an hour of writing, Mark finally saved his work and leaned back against his chair, stretching his arms out, a loud yawn slipping from his mouth. He lifted his phone to check the time, and to check for the hundredth time to see if he had any notifications from Lucas, but again, he didn’t. Mark couldn’t help but feel worried. No matter how busy the elder boy was, he always found time to text Mark to at least let him know that he was okay.

Mark bit his bottom lip, getting up from the chair as he clicked on to the twitter app, wanting to go on to check if his boyfriend had at least posted on any of his social media. Mark was expecting to see a tweet thanking everyone for attending the fashion show from the night before, thanking the company for choosing him to model for them. But when Mark had clicked on the discover page, he had not expected to see the headline in front of him.

“Mark, honey. I need to talk to you—”

Mark’s mother wasn’t able to finish her sentence before a loud bang interrupted her, that loud bang being Mark’s phone falling out of his hand and crashing on to the wooden floors below him. Mark was frozen. He couldn’t move. All he could do was stare at his mother, who was looking at him with a look filled with sympathy and eyes filled with tears.

Mark’s mother didn’t have to say anything to let him know that she was about to tell him that what he had just read was true. She didn’t know what to do or say in this situation. All she could do was run over to her son and wrap her arms around him, pulling him into a hug before the two of them fell to the ground. She had seen her son crying before but it was nothing like the cries that were coming from him right now. She knew that nothing she could say would make him feel better, so she held him and let him cry.

“What happened? I heard a bang— Mark, are you alright? Mum, what’s going on?” Johnny was now standing in front of the two people he loved the most in the world, watching his younger brother break down for a reason which was still unknown to him. “Can someone tell me what’s going on, please.”

Their mother looked up at Johnny, shaking his head to let him know that she couldn’t say it. Not in front of Mark. Instead, she pointed over to Mark’s phone which she assumed is where he found out the information, making it much worse for him as he had to learn about it through the internet and not through someone he cared about.

Johnny picked up the phone, his eyebrows furrowed together as he unlocked it, eyes widening at the news article in front of him.

**'MODEL LUCAS WONG DIES IN CAR ACCIDENT, AGED 20.'**

“Oh, oh my God. Mark, I’m so, oh my god."

Johnny was speechless. He didn't know what to expect when he saw his little brother in such a state but it wasn't that. If anything, he would have expected to hear that the two boys broke up instead. He had never been prepared to face such a situation and since they never really had anyone close to their family die, it was new to them, so Johnny did all that he could at that moment and held his worried mother and his broken brother in his arms, putting on an act to help his family.

 

 

Death is a tough thing for any person to come to terms with. Having to hold yourself back and put on an act makes it much worse. It was only when Mark was alone in his room that he felt that he could let his guard down and grieve in his own way. Mark had a busy few days and was constantly around people, mostly Lucas' parents, attempting to help them to deal with the loss of their only son. Being around them made things a little easier as he was able to distract himself and while pretending to other people that he was coping, he managed to convince himself he was too.

Mark had been receiving a lot of support from his family and friends and even from Lucas' fans. Although their relationship was mostly private, his fans were still made aware at some point that Lucas was in a relationship with Mark. This also allowed him to proudly support and be a member of the LGBT+ community, which along with bringing quite a bit of hate, also brought support and allowed him to build a stronger relationship with his fans who were also apart of the community.

Mark wishes he could say that this support was helping him to cope but in reality, every time someone mentioned Lucas' name, there was a pain in his heart that Mark had never felt before. Not even when his first pet died when he was just a kid - and Mark was heartbroken at that time. No pain he had ever experienced in his life could ever compare to what he was feeling.

It wasn't until days after Lucas's funeral, when Mark was alone in his bedroom, that it had really hit him that Lucas was gone and if Mark had to choose a moment in his life that he hated the most, he would choose now. Even though his room was quiet 6 out of 7 days a week due to Lucas having to be at work, today just felt extra quieter. It was almost suffocating.

Mark had been sitting on the edge of his bed for a few hours - he wasn't really sure how many. He just knew that it had been light outside when he sat down and now it was pitch dark and the only light in his room was from the moonlight.

Moonlight.

Mark couldn't help but let a few tears fall when he noticed it. Before Lucas, he wouldn't have taken a second look at the moon but now, he felt as if it was the only part of Lucas he had left. Mark stood up from the bed, making his way over to his window sill and taking a seat down, biting his lip as he looked at the moon. He had never really understood Lucas' admiration for it before but at that moment he understood why his boyfriend found it so beautiful.

Remembering Lucas' words from the park, Mark let out a long, shaky breath, letting his eyes shut for a few seconds.

"I know you told me that when you died, you'd be the moon instead of a star... I just didn't think it would be this soon. That's obviously why I'm talking to the moon right now, like a crazy person." For the first time since Lucas' death, Mark smiled a little bit, looking down at this hands as he felt warm tears running down his face. "I really hope you can hear me right now, Cas."

  
"I really miss you so much. I don't know how I'm going to deal with any of this, I mean, you were sitting here with me just last week and now I'm here alone wishing I could have those moments back. I hate myself for not appreciating them as much as I should have. This is all so crazy..."

Mark shifted his eyes back up towards the sky, lifting his hand to wipe the escaping tears away from his face. "I just wish you were here. It hurts so bad. Not just for me, but for your family too. Your mum and dad... They're having a really tough time facing it but I think that as long as they have each other they'll be okay eventually. Hopefully, that is. I mean, you're not just someone you could forget overnight."

"God, if my mum or Johnny were to come in right now, they'd think I was going crazy." Mark laughed at himself, shaking his head as he shut his eyes tightly, taking a few seconds to process his thoughts before opening them again. "I'm sure you know this but, your funeral was really nice... You had so many people that cared about you, Cas. I don't think you realised that when you were alive. Even though it was a tough situation, I couldn't help but feel so proud of you when everyone was sharing their memories with you. I just wish you had more time to make more of them."

"I hope you still get to do that now, wherever you are. I'm sure you'll have already made friends up there since everyone loves you anyway... I'm going to stop this now before I cry myself to the point of having no more water left in my body. I hope you realise how much I love you and how much I miss you right now. I know it'll be tough but I'll be happy eventually. I know that's what you would want me to be so I'll take my time and I'll make sure it happens, don't you worry. Uh, well, goodnight, my love. I'll talk to you again soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, i apologise for how badly written this is, i'm not very good at writing emotional things especially to do with death which is dumb considering this fic is based on that but u know what its ok ! 
> 
> i'm sorry if this hurts or upsets anyone and if u need someone to talk to pls talk to a friend or family member or just someone u trust :)


End file.
